Used with permission from Dixie
1 Year Later
Thoughts and Feelings From Americans
I am sitting here crying like a baby.
I have the TV on "Good Morning America"
and they are interviewing a retired Firefighter
and one of his other sons.
They are crying and reliving the 9/11 tragedy.
They lost their son and brother.
Oh my gosh, I hate going over that day again.
I want to turn the TV's off and not watch
anything but I can't.
I have to see what it is going on.
I have to relive it again.
Has anyone forgotten?
How do you put that day out of your mind?
No, I lost no one that I knew in the tragedy.
No, I am not from New York or Washington,
DC or Pennsylvania.
But I lost that day too.
I lost the security I felt here.
I lost that peaceful, easy feeling that I had.
Now I live every day wondering what
or I should say "When"
something else is going to happen.
Yes Country after Country,
has come together with the U.S. to back us
and we have all wept over what happened...
"BUT", can we ever really trust again?
How do we know that our next door neighbor
is not someone working with the "Enemy" to
bring us down further? Am I wrong in thinking this?
Should I feel that I can trust again?
Will the U.S. ever go back to the days before
September 11th when "Security" was low
and we never thought of something like this happening?
They said that September 11th was
"The Day that changed the World"...
and yes it did.
Will it ever leave our minds or our hearts...
not for me it won't.
No, I didn't lose "Anyone" in the September 11th
tragedy but I still lost..
.I lost the most important thing for everyone..
(My thoughts and feelings this morning...
September 10th, 2002)
As you and Peaches both know I am a native New Yorker
and the wife of a NYC Firefighter,
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.
For expressing your emotions.
Altho a year has passed the rage and pain
I feel is still (and I think will always be)
just below the surface of my emotions.
My husband lost 344 brothers in the FDNY
that day and among them 11 were
personal friends that we had for years.
He dug side by side for over a month without a break,
and still wakes from nightmares over
what he has seen at the Pile.
I had also been to the site many, many
times trying to help in a small way
We have been thru hell, and our biggest fear
was that the people across this country
would not remember.
Would not know the horror that
we have to face day after day.
My dear friend you have shown me that
THIS NATION WILL NEVER FORGET.
I am sobbing as I am writing this.
We Will NEVER Forget
Mike Angelini a dear friend who lost his
Dad and His Brother.
Photo taken at Ground zero
Thank you Barb for this.
I relive where I was and what I thought that day,
Yes, I felt violated, yes I felt betrayed.
I cried all that day and well into the next.
My husband had to hold me all night
long because I couldn't sleep.
(Some of you might think this corny
or not believe in this sort of thing,
but I know others can relate)
When I tried to send out healing light
to those areas effected,
all I felt was blackness, cold, fear and death
I was transported to a place where
there was confusion,
pain and agony beyond belief.
I'm not talking about death in the physical sense,
but death of things untold, normally
unfelt by the human spirit.
The overwhelming number of spirits lost,
looking for some guidance Home...
I pray I never have to feel that again.
I literally shook at the powerful forces
from the devastation as I tried in
my own small way to help.
It took me hours to recover some
sense of my own being.
(I have only told a few people about this)
My heart and thoughts went out and
still do go out to those who lost loved ones.
I mourn those who have died in their heroic
efforts and can only imagine the other horrors
that are dealt with on a daily basis.
Yes, a lot of people died needlessly,
but in spirit they are still with us,
because we'll never forget them.
They watch over us from the heavens above,
cheering our resolve and our strength.
But to trust again, yes, I have to...
To do all that I can to make my family secure,
I must try.
To love mankind again as a whole,
this I must do as well.
For in light of this tragedy,
I have become stronger,
in striving very hard to be the
best person I can be.
So, I'm sorry if my words of before
seemed cold to some.
My intention I suppose is to be like a
salve for the spirit...
though I'm not a religious person,
I am a very spiritual one
and I truly believe these things
with all my heart and soul...
Used with permission from Dixie
Click above to see a quilt
made to honor those lost.
United In Spirit